i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
