so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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