I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
