I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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