We tried having a conversation with our noses.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
