this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
a search helicopter?!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
