Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You pole danced in your parka.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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