operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
