what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
