Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
