So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
