chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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