Pappa wants mamma naked
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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