Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
