Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
