why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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