whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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