K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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