YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
