it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
