Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
True strength comes from lack of pants
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