He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize