"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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