Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
