does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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