In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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