so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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