I don't think brook has ever known best
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
