I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
