I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The beer is more important than you right now.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
