if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
