Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
