Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
