there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
