I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
