you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
