Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
