Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
