Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
