please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
