That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
