omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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