mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
