btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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