Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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