I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
