just come out here and I will go home with you...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
