There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
