Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize