I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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