woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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